well, i have now recovered from the jet lag which was made worse by the fact we were travelling east. it's never a problem going TO the uk, only coming back. the exhaustion is further exaggerated by the thirteen hour flight and seven hour time difference... i think i am getting old as i used to love flying...this trip home was a sweet one. i am normally chomping at the bit to get back to malaysia, a place i called home up until about four weeks ago. 'oh yes, malaysia is my home' i would glibly tell to anyone who would listen. after my recent trip to my REAL home, i will no longer say this so easily. maybe BOTH countries are my home. malaysia is the place i got married, had my children and learned most in my life. my children are malaysian, my husband is malaysia. and it is a beautiful country...i always felt an affinity to the tropics. heck, it was even my favourite topic in a'level geography! i was always such a sun worshipper, so the promise of hot beautiful sunshine almost EVERY day of the year was a major attraction for me. along with the tropical thunderstorms...oh i love a good show in the sky. then there is the easy lifestyle and the food. the food...thai, indian, malay, chinese, japanese... all my favourites...
yes, for the past ten years i have been idolising malaysia and looking down my nose on england. this trip home was different somehow. i had a wonderful time with family and friends indeed. but i also re-connected with the soul of england. it is such a beautiful country...and there is nowhere nicer than the english countryside on a perfect summers day. except perhaps london city on a snowy christmas eve...hmmm. i wonder however, how much of my current home sick feelings are sentiment. how much is memory? how much is a result of my dream of england, or my idea of england as opposed to the reality? a good ex-pat friend of mine, a total self proclaimed patriot, is currently visiting family in england as i write. she went for six weeks, declaring that she needed that long to get her 'fix' of the country she adores. she is now desperate to get back to malaysia. i was expecting her to be rather depressed at the thought of having to come back as she loves england so... but she is now on record as having said she cannot wait to get back to kl.
i have myself settled back in again now. the pain has lessened. i know in my heart that a truly contented person would be happy regardless of where they were living, so i guess it really is sentimentality that is the problem for me. a long trip in january and february, when depression in the uk is at its highest would surely spin me right round on a course back towards my love of malaysia!
the grass is always greener. be happy where you are. home is where the heart is!
be present wherever you are and all will be well...
anyway, above and below, some of my england photos. not brilliant. and not so many...but they are my memories of a time when i fell in love with england. again...
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